


Why Me?

by amy494walker



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Slash, criminal minds - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 20:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/435013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy494walker/pseuds/amy494walker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being kidnapped by an UnSub with and inferiority complex, Reid and Hotch have to rely on each other. Contains violence and mentions of rape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Me?

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~

_'Why me?'_ came the unbidden thought in Spencer Reid's mind. Because, honestly, if you looked at the fact that there where 5 other people on the team (6 counting Garcia) and compared it to the number of perilous situations they came across the sheer number of times it was him facing these kind of things was starting to defy all odds. And yet here he was, locked barefoot in a dingy basement, the only light coming from the crack beneath the door. Though he supposed he shouldn't feel too bad, at least he wasn't alone down here. _'  
  
Ah yes because your boss, who is a father to a small boy who has already lost a mother, bleeding from the head and been held by the same psychopath as you is such a consolation you jerk.'_  
  
To be honest Reid would prefer that he was down here alone because the profile suggests that the killer they where after was a power-reassurance rapist and that spelled inferiority complex. A beta male like Reid would likely be able to avoid too harsh a treatment by playing along that the UnSub was in charge, that he was the one with all the power here.

But Hotch.

Even if the incredibly pissed off look on Hotch's face right now, one made all the more intimidating by the streaks of crimson blood and the shadows caused by the dim light, was _not_ indicative of Hotch's unwillingness to submit to the UnSub, he knew that the UnSub clearly saw Hotch for the alpha male he was, as evidenced by the fact that Hotch was chained to the wall by one arm while Reid had simply been handcuffed (with his own cuffs no less) and tossed on a mattress that he fervently prayed hadn't been the location of the rapes. Given the circumstances Reid felt that Hotch was likely to receive the brunt of the abuse.

The UnSub, who was no longer an unknown subject and whose name was Brian Kittling, had been raping and killing prostitutes in the Manhattan area and leaving their bodies in slightly out of the way locations, they profiled it was because he was slight in stature or had at some point suffered and injury and therefore it took time for him to dump even a small adult body. Time that a more open, public setting simply wouldn't afford. He had, at first taken to waiting for some random passer by to notice the body and call it in but as it would seem, he had grown impatient not only with how long he had to wait after the killings for it to be recognized but also with the fact that nobody seemed to be aware that the killings where the work of a serial killer.  
  
That fact _was_ known of course, by both the LEO's and his team, but in situations like this, where an UnSub was clearly seeking media attention, their best strategy was throwing the killers off their game and pushing them to make a mistake and the most sure fire way to do that was stop them from getting what they wanted. So they had withheld all information on the killings from the bloodthirsty reporters.

And for the most part it had seemed to work, just over an hour ago they had received a tip that there where four bodies behind a strip club and, best of all, that the witness had seen a man running away from the scene. Thinking this was the devolution they had been waiting for (and feeling not a small amount of guilt that their jobs entailed hoping four young, innocent women had been raped and killed) They had split up.  
  
Rossi and Prentiss had gone to inspect the crime-scene, Morgan and JJ had gone to interview people on the streets near said crime scene and also interview proprietors of near by businesses in the search of more witnesses while he and Hotch had driven out to the first Witness' house to get a description of the killer and maybe run a cognitive interview to get as detailed a picture as possible.

What they had not been expecting was that the devolution actually seemed not to be the increase in the number of kills. They where just a lure, along with Kittling posing as a witness, to get two F.B.I agents out here so he could ambush them.  
  
Apparently, instead of causing a break in Kittling, they had only managed to inspire him to go after more high profile victims, ones the media couldn't ignore, and who was more high profile than two F.B.I agents only in town to catch him. As they had been invited inside to talk, Kittling had pretended to go to the kitchen to make some coffee and had instead snuck up from behind and smashed a polished, solid wooden riffle butt into the side of Hotch's head and held the barrel end of said rifle to Reid's chest. He had then ordered him to drag Hotch down into the basement in which they where currently residing.

Struggling with the restraints, trying to get them to align just right, Reid calculated the possibility of Hotch having a concussion and decided it was rather likely given the amount of blood on his face.

"Hotch, can you run? I mean if by some fluke we get out of here can you handle it?" Reid asked with a firmness that allowed for how serious a question it was but also a certain amount of gentleness, not wanting Hotch to think he was questioning his physical ability.

"I think so, I think the wood on the base of the gun was splintered and cut the skin, I don't think he hit me that hard." He moved his head from side to side as though testing his theory "I've had enough concussions to know when I don't have one." He concluded with a wiry smile "Though I don't see our chances of running away from here as been to good. I'm chained to a wall and you're handcuffed."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Said Reid cryptically as he continued to fiddle around behind his back. "Besides we need to, or at least you do. This guy is a power reassurance rapist and killer Hotch. I might be able to win him over but you are an alpha male and a threat to his masculinity, if we don't get out of here before he comes down, I don't really want to think about what he'll do to you to assert his dominance."  
  
The more he though about it, the more determined to get them out of here he became. He knew that no-one would have pegged him for the protective kind but the truth was he would fight tooth and nail for anyone he cared about, take a bullet for them in a heartbeat, or deliver one. And there where few people he would sacrifice more for than Hotch. Especially after everything this brave, caring, wonderful man had been through in the past 3 years.

He had to admit, for a genius, falling for your heterosexual boss was a rather stupid move but he felt he had managed to muster a respectable amount of restraint and his feelings had never been an issue. He didn't even dwell that much on the fact that it would never happen, he had always had a habit of falling for people he couldn't have, or choosing to be with people he shouldn't have been with. Ethan came to mind in that respect, talk about mutually self destructive. But he had accepted the fact that his feelings would never be reciprocated almost immediately and had just enjoyed having Hotch in his life. Of course all bets were off in a situation like this and all he knew was that it that psycho touched Hotch in any way, he was going to tear him apart.

"It'll be alright Reid, The rest of the team know where we are and they'll come looking for us. Besides anything he does to me he'll do to you too. I just hope I can draw his attention to me until they get here." Said Hotch, breaking Reid of his rather untimely inner monologue.

"Don't you dare!" Reid snapped. Typical, here he was trying to protect the man and he was threatening to mess it up by trying to protect him "Hotch, you're already injured, I'm not. I am not an alpha male, he will go easier on me, if he comes down here before we can get free you have to let me take the first round of abuse. It will be much harsher for you." He was pleading now, he knew he couldn't bear to watch that happen to Hotch.

Hotch however was not giving up without a fight "Reid, you are the one free, you are our best bet for getting out of here if you get hurt we both lose besides you're a hell of a lot more of an alpha male than you think, there is no reason to believe he will go any easier on you. Just let me be the focus until the team get here."

Reid was getting pissed off now "Dammit Hotch, you're forgetting that not only is this place 45 minutes from the town but that we came here to give a cognitive interview and get as many details as possible. You and I both know how long that could take. Even if by some miracle the team do decide to check up on us sooner than an hour after we where supposed to arrive and decide to head out here that still leaves us an absolute minimum of 45 minutes while they get here. I don't trust this guy to wait that long and if he comes down here now I don't want to think about what he could get done it that time. Besides," He said suddenly a lot more hopeful as things started to go a little better behind his back, "We're leaving now."  
  
He wasn't surprised to see Hotch's eyebrows raise at his firm tone. Even he was managing to surprise himself with how determined he was to get Hotch out of this place.

"Okay genius," Hotch said, amused "Any bright idea's how to make that happen?"

Now it was Reid's turn to smile "Hotch please. I'm not only a magician but an F.B.I agent with too much time on his hands and a propensity for being kidnapped."  
  
And with one final twist he finally managed to turn his makeshift key and unlock the left handcuff. He proudly brought his hand up in front of him and wiggled his fingers like he had just performed a stunt for a cheering crowd.

"How the hell?" Hotch asked clearly as surprised as he was impressed and while trying not to think about how good it felt to have Hotch be impressed by him, he instead produced his self made key to Hotch "A bobby pin? You carry a bobby pin in your sleeve?"

"Of course they're the best for the job and easy to hide, now let's see about this chain." As he started moving over to where Hotch was chained Reid heard the lock on the door leading to the room click  
  
 _'Oh god not yet.'_ he silently pleaded.  
  
But, quick as he could, he darted back over to the mattress, took the loose cuff ring into his hand to keep it from jiggling and forced a scared look onto his face. When the door opened and heavy boots stomped their way down the dusty wooden stairs, Reid formulated a plan. Unfortunately that plan involved beating Kittling around the head till he stopped moving.  
  
He hated having to perform physical violence. Not because of any particular aversion to hitting people, more because it reminded him of all the times he had tried to fight back against the much older bullies in school. Needless to say he had lost a hell of a lot more of those fights than he had won.

He took the last few seconds to give what he hoped was a meaningful look to Hotch before reverting back to his scared little boy persona. He trusted Hotch to understand that Reid had changed his mind and that Hotch _should_ draw Kittlings attention so Reid could sneak up behind.

When Kittling was in the room proper, Reid was most dismayed to find he barely spared Hotch a glance before walking over to Reid. _'Well, this could be problematic.'_

"Well, if it isn't Doctor Reid of the F. B. I." drawled the lunatic currently standing over him in a heavy New York accent, drawing out the last three letters in an obvious attempt at condescension and trying to make all of his 5'11, rather scrawny self as imposing as possible.  
  
He could see how it could be intimidating to someone in this setting but Reid knew better. Looking up at him, careful to remain visibly frightened, he took note of Kittling appearance. Short brown hair with a thick stubble that didn't quite qualify as a beard yet, trying to appear as 'butch' as possible, his face was rather mousy but it was tanned and care-worn like his hands so Reid deduced he worked outdoors, probably in construction or manual labor. He also dressed the part of a man trying too hard to be a man, baggy blue jeans and a flannel shirt unbuttoned over a worn blue under shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was also wearing steel capped boots Reid noted with dismay ' _They could hurt.'_

"Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?"

Trying to remain timid and nonthreatening in the hope that he would turn his attention to Hotch and give him his opening he meekly said, "I'm 30 years old, I only have a bachelors degree in psychology, it was necessary for my job." Reid may be humble about a lot of things but not his intelligence nor his accomplishments and he knew that if he had told the truth he would simply seem like he was trying to say he was smarted than Kittling.

For whatever reason it didn't seem to be working and instead of leaving him be, Kittling stepped closer and sneered "Are you mocking me? You think you're better than me?" Before Reid could respond Hotch chimed in, apparently deciding that Kittling wasn't going to leave Reid alone without encouragement.

"Of course he's better than you, I'm better than you too. Of course it isn't hard to have it over a scrawny little bitch like you so I don't consider it much of an accomplishment." Hotch was smirking as he spoke. However when Kittling, taking the bait, finally turned towards Hotch it was to deliver a severe kick to Hotch's head, with the steel capped boots.  
  
Cursing himself for not being fast enough to stop that first hit, he redeemed himself with stopping the second which was aimed for his ribs by lashing out and slamming his bare foot as hard as he could into the back of Kittlings knee sending the man tumbling to the ground. Reid then straddled his waist, taking the biggest threat, the boots, out of the equation and punched. Over and over again.  
  
If he let Kittling get the upper hand, both him and Hotch would be screwed. So he just kept hitting hoping to stun the man into unconsciousness. He went in for the 6th hit when he saw Kittlings hand swing up towards his side. In the instant he heard Hotch call his name in warning he felt the sharp metal of the switch blade slide almost effortlessly into his side, just below his ribs. Calling out in pain he delivered the last hit as hard as he could and was beyond relieved when the hand holding the blade still embedded in his torso loosened and then fell to the ground. He was finally unconscious.

Taking a second to push aside the pain Reid ignored Hotch as he called his name. He had to get himself back into focus, he had a job to do.  
  
Trying to move a quickly as possible he slowly rose, leaving the blade in place. The last thing he needed was to remove it and bleed out on the floor before being able to free Hotch. He also knew he had to hurry, despite common misconceptions, he knew that the average time someone remained unconscious from blows to the head was under a minute, factor in the time it would take for Kittling to be able to see or think straight and regain his footing and it still didn't give them as much time as he would have liked.  
  
He contemplated taking the time to pick the lock on the other handcuff ring still locked around his left wrist and put them on him but a) that would take too long and b) he would still be able to kick with them damn boots. He would never admit out loud that a small part of him considered killing him. He deserved it, it could be considered self-defense and when arrested he was just likely to be put on death row anyway.  
  
He made a point to pay no attention to that voice, he had killed before but he wasn't a murderer.

Instead he opted to, very painfully, track down the twisted bobby pin he had lost in the chaos and unlock Hotch's chains, no easy feat when every movement made with his left side sent bolts of agony throughout his whole body. But, aware that Hotch was still trying to get him to respond but unable to focus on anything but his singular task of saving him, he managed to get the lock undone.  
  
As soon as it was Hotch took a hold of Reid and carefully tried to pull him up without much success. Damn Hotch, he was the one with the concussion, if not from the initial hit then at least from the boot to the head. Reid was supposed to be the one helping him.

"God Reid, we need to get you out of here, come on, stay with me okay." Hotch sounded so worried. Looking down at his wound he noted that it didn't seem to be bleeding so bad. Which, even in his pained state, he knew wasn't necessarily a good thing. Stab wounds bled, if there was no blood outside then there was blood inside.  
  
He became aware that his vision was beginning to tunnel and panicked "Hotch, come on we gotta go." He could feel himself slurring but all that was important was that Hotch wouldn't leave without him, he was stubborn like that, and if Reid passed out, the chances of and injured Hotch being able to carry him out before Kittling woke up where slim to none.  
  
So, with strength he didn't know he had left in him at this point, he hoisted himself up onto his feet, clung to Hotch for support as they moved slowly but surely towards the stairs. He heard a groan from the floor behind them and felt Hotch lean him against the banister and move away. The loud 'thwack' that followed shortly after and the mumbled "How do you like it." told Reid that Hotch had kicked their captor in the head. He was unashamed to smile at how satisfying that was.  
  
Then there where strong arms around him again and he forced his legs to lift for each step as they made their way up. Each step jostled the blade in him just enough that by the time they reached the last few he was letting out a little "Ahh." with each one but after what seemed like a week, they made it.

He wasn't sure what happened after they made it to the living room because as Hotch set him on the floor against a wall to search for some keys for the car they had seen on their drive up, Reid felt all the energy drain from him and closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them he was in the passenger side of Kittlings Toyota next to Hotch who was speeding down the road.  
  
Looking down he was dismayed to see that it hadn't all been a dream but relieved to see that his injury seemed to be no worse off. The blade was still in place and there was still the good-news/bad-news situation with the lack of blood. Although there was a little more than there had been before, there wasn't as much as there was supposed to be.

"Wah 'append?" he managed to garble out of his cotton dry mouth  
  
Hotch jumped at the sudden noise but then smiled a wide, beautiful smile over at Reid. He knew it was stupid but in his dazed mind he actually felt some of the pain diminish at the sight of that smile. "God Reid, you passed out. You scared me half to death." Marveling at how Hotch had managed to drag his unconscious body to the car in his own injured state without worsening the knife wound, he asked "How far are we from town?" And was pleased to find himself more able to talk.

Still smiling, Hotch glanced at the GPS and said "About five minutes from the hospital, there was a phone in the glove compartment, I called Morgan and they're sent the entire police squad up there to make sure that son of a bitch doesn't get away. They're gonna meet us at the hospital."

Reid breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. He had managed to get Hotch out. Okay, well Hotch had actually gotten him out but the point was Hotch was safe, he was safe and they would both soon be back with the team where they belong.

"Thanks for saving meh." He said feeling weaker by the second, he recognized the same feeling of his energy draining just like at the house and fought to stay awake.  
  
"I was 'sposed to save you. Can't watch you... hurt again." He vaguely heard Hotch calling his name, begging him to stay awake. He didn't think his words where making it out of his mouth by this point, so he said the one thing he promised himself he never would.

"Love you." Then all he saw was black.

* * *

God how he wished this wasn't such a familiar feeling. The harsh lights, the beeping, the sting of the IV needle in his hand.  
  
 _'Can't I go one year without waking up in a damn hospital.'_ one part of his mind said while the other countered with _'At least you're waking up, ungrateful.'_  
  
Opting to ignore the bickering voices in his head he instead focused on opening his eyes and was instantly rewarded with the image of Hotch smiling down at him. He couldn't help but smile back.

"Welcome back," Hotch said, his smile widening, "You're gonna be fine. The knife didn't catch anything vital. There was some blood collected internally because the knife was kept in but they said doing so saved your life so good call."  
  
A dark expression crossed his face as he said, "Also, they got him. He's under guard in another wing of the hospital with some pretty nasty head trauma." He was barely able to keep the sardonic grin from his face before adding, "But he'll live."

Reid really couldn't do much but stare at the man above him. He had a bandage on the side of his head and some bruising along his cheekbone but he had never seen a more relieving sight.

He tried to speak but all that came out was a scratchy squeak followed by a cough followed by clutching his stomach in pain and was simply grateful that of course had Hotch made sure they didn't give him any narcotics.  
  
However, that only left NSAID's and they weren't much good for a stubbed toe let alone a stab wound. Jumping to action, Hotch grabbed a ready poured glass of water and held the straw to Reid's mouth till he was done and then set it back down. Feeling a little more comfortable now he was relieved to find his words actually came out this time "Are you okay?"

In response Hotch quirked his mouth to the side, lightly shook his head and chuckled a little "Typical Reid. You can barely move and you're still worried about me?" He said with no small amount of affection. There was something else in his eyes that Reid couldn't quite place, he seemed to be looking at him differently "Yes I am fine, barely even a concussion. And by the way, you where wrong. You did save me."

Confused Reid furrowed his brow and tilted his head in a silent question question.

"In the car on the way here you woke up for a few minutes." He answered, noticing the look. He looked like he was trying to suppress a smile when he asked "You don't remember?"

He couldn't. The last thing he really remembers clearly is being on top of Kittling, hitting him. There are a few jumpy fragments after that but not much more. He is aware of course, both from studies and experience, that this is a perfectly normal side effect of a situation like that and that he will remember soon enough. Shaking his head he wondered "What did I say?" He had a sinking feeling he had said something he shouldn't have.

Pursing his lips, seemingly in amusement but there seemed to be a blush on his cheeks and that look was back when he raised his gaze, he explained "You thanked me for saving you, said you where supposed to save me, which you did by the way, if you hadn't have picked your cuffs, overpowered Kittling and freed me even with a damn blade stuck in your side, we'd probably be dead."  
  
He looked at Reid with a serious and slightly morose expression "You where right. When I called Morgan, they hadn't even gotten to the point of worrying yet."  
  
Fixing him with a honest and open look that threatened to take Reid's breath away or at least cause his heart-rate to spike while he was oh so helpfully attached to a machine beeping the reaction loudly for all to hear, Hotch said fiercely "You saved my life."

All Reid could think to do in the wake of all that intensity was laugh awkwardly and shrug lamely. "No big deal. I don't understand why Kittling was focused on me though. An alpha male tied up and virtually helpless should have been too tempting for a personality like him to turn down. Why me?" That thought had bugged him from the moment it happened. He hated it when the profile didn't fit.

"Reid," Hotch said, full of patience and a little of what looked like pity "Like I told you in the basement, you are a hell of a lot more of an alpha male than you give your self credit for. Plus he had your credentials, he knew you where a doctor and therefore you where also smarter than him. In that room, you where the superior threat to his ego, not me."

Looking at Hotch bemusedly he replied "I'm not an alpha male Hotch, I'm not bothered by that, in fact it helps me. UnSubs underestimate me and allow me to get close to them."

"Maybe once upon a while you weren't that imposing but you where always far superior to what you're outward appearance would suggest and after Emily you started working out more, training with Morgan. It made a difference. You certainly don't look like a man LEO's give funny looks to when we tell them you're F.B.I anymore. Didn't you noticed they haven't been doing that anymore?"  
  
Reid just dumbly shook his head. Was Hotch complimenting his appearance. _'Just in an objective way, don't take it to mean anything.'_ Ugh, this situation had messed with his ability to compartmentalize his feelings for Hotch. He hoped it wasn't permanent.

"Well they don't. Now I don't have to repress the urge to knock that look off their faces." Hotch joked with mock sincerity.

Chuckling at Hotch making a joke, because seriously, since when did that happen, he was starting to feel a little embarrassed at the compliments.

"What else did I say?" Hiding his need for a change in the subject in curiosity.

That terrifying smile was back on Hotch's face as he continued "Just that you couldn't see me hurt again and ... that you ... love me."

The heart monitor really did react this time as his heart rate soared and seemingly all the blood in his body flooded to his cheeks. _'How could you be so stupid.'_

"Hotch, I can explain..." The explanation would be lost forever. Because nothing was more important in that second than the fact that Hotch had risen from his seat, placed his hands on either side of his face and pressed his lips to his.

As every thought Reid could possibly come up with in that moment fled him forever, all he could feel where surprisingly soft lips on his, a thumb lightly caressing his cheek and the vibration of a quite little hum Hotch gave. The kiss was simple. No movement, just lips pressed to lips in a testing show of affection and yet it managed to be the most mind-blowing kiss Reid had ever imagined.  
  
When he felt Hotch pull away a little whine escaped him in protest but Hotch didn't move completely away and his fingers remained in Reid's short hair, the thumb still lazily stroking his cheekbone.

"I just ..," Started Hotch shyly, "..Wanted to know if you meant it. And you're reaction .."

 _'Behaviorists.'_ Thought Reid with amusement. Can't get even the smallest of reactions past them and his had hardly been small.  
  
He just whispered "Yeah, I did." and was stunned by the smile that bloomed on Hotch's face at his words.

"I was hoping you did."

The next kiss was still pretty tame because of his limitations of being laid in a hospital bed with a stab wound, but was much more intense than the first and, as he felt firm yet loving lips caress his, he lifted his hand and stroked Hotch's shoulder. Moving his hand around to caress the back of Hotch's neck eliciting one of those delicious moan he made it his (new) life's mission to hear again and again. And as he felt Hotch's tongue press against his lips, seeking entry Reid parted his lips and groaned at the feel of Hotch's tongue stroking against his. Finally.

As the kiss began to heat up Reid over exerted himself and pulled on his side. He hated that he couldn't hold in the pained gasp because he knew Hotch would instantly move away to avoid hurting him further, which he did. Reid, to his dismay, found himself actually pouting at the loss.

Hotch seemed to find it amusing however but said something wonderful "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time when you're out of here." and those words turned his pout to a grin.

He just had to ask, he couldn't not.

"Hotch, why me?"

Looking into his eyes, Hotch took a moment before answering.

"Because. You're Reid."


End file.
